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Originally Posted by sweetpea
Let me please clairfy that Uptown stated that he has NOT cheated on his SO, nor does he condone it . . . as you can see in the cheating thread if you refer to it, Uptown was merely bringing up the interesting point of how lack of sex and affection affects marriages, i don't think he LITERALLY meant his SO treats him like a toy or vice versa . . . it was merely an illustration of his feelings . . . which i think are reflected by many people . . . Uptown has appeared to me in all his posts as an upstanding and honorable husband . . .
I myself do not think of my SO as a toy either of course . . . he is my best friend and our marriage is not based on sex . . . I just posted this thread to get a pulse on what the TFP community felt about this topic . . .
this thread was meant to illustrate, not be taken literally . . . although perhaps i should have clarified that right from the beginning . . . my bad, sorry! 
Please continue this discussion . . .
I think the real point Uptown was trying to get at . . .
Is if you don't wish to touch your spouse at all or please them or have intimate contact with them . . . What implications does that have in a marriage??
thanks everyone!!  |
Sex/intimacy is an important part of a marriage, without it you might as well be living with a sibling imho. I do not advocate cheating but I have to scratch my head in amazement at folks who do the following things then cry foul if the spouse they've abandoned steps out with another,no matter how discretely.
Anybody recognize any of these all too common behaviors ?
When sex becomes a 5 minute grope and poke once a week in the dark out of sheer obligation.
When sex is scheduled around your favorite TV programs.
When you expect sex after an evening in which you basically ignored your spouse.
When your most intense orgams are had by yourself in the den facing the porn on your computer monitor.
When you need intensive visualition/thoughts of others to have sex with your spouse.
When you only want sex when you want it but never when your partner does.If they don't go for it when you're in the mood,well too bad too sad,they won't be getting any again
for awhile ?
When your bedroom moves have become so routine that your spouse can list them in order.
When you become irritable/angry if your spouse dares to discuss any of the above.
How can you then get angry and rightious if after awhile of this your spouse strays?
Don't the actions above indicate that you are no longer sexually interested in your spouse? Is your spouse supposed to just quitely accept this state of affairs? For how long ?
How can it be "cheating" if you've basically opted out of the sexual part of your marriage ?