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Uptown:
I, for one, have not read any other threads regarding your relationship. Without proper background information, I'm afraid that I am limited to sympathy rather than any specific advice. However, here are some general thoughts from a person that suffers from "andonandon" disease:
What I will say is that sex is always a symptom of another problem, rather than the problem itself. If you recall, when you first started dating this man, the sex was probably fantastic. This fact shows that you are both capable and compatible. Many things can change, over time, that can interfere with a successful sex life:
Health
Self-Esteem
Contempt
Mistrust
Abuse (physical and mental)
Infidelity (again typically a symptom of another problem)
Children
Loss of job/change in financial security
In my relationships, I always focus on fixing the problems that I know that I bring to the relationship. Often, I tease too much, talk too much, and listen too little. I worry too much about money and devalue the things in life that should bring me the most happiness. I worry about my slowly declining physique and my slowly reclining hairline. None of these things are truly important in life. So, I do my best to "reformat" my thoughts and let go of my baggage.
Now, once you have fixed everything that you can fix and you are still unhappy - then it is time to lay down the gauntlet for some counselling. I will assume you are married, and therefore pledged yourselves in a church. This covenant is pretty clear about what is expected of a spouse, and counselling IS NOT optional when you can't resolve your issues by yourselves.
Remember, you are 100% responsible for your own happiness. If you aren't happy and you don't speak up and offer suggestions on how someone could act better - it is your fault, not theirs.
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