|
Ex's and SO's.
When you have been dating someone long enough that you are past the friends stage and just entering gf/bf territory, how quickly do you mention the kind of relationship you had with your ex-partners? If they are curious, how do you handle it, especially if some of the outcomes were ... less than favorable? We are all curious to some extent, of course. Conversely, how much do you care about their past SO's, and do you think that that kind of info is best left to the past where it belongs?
In some ways, I'm torn about this. Being a guy, I've pretty much become accustomed to the trend I have seen that most girls will have at least a couple of ex-bf's. In contrast, again with my experience, many guy's aren't expected to have much relationship experience at all. There is one girl I have been dating for a month, but she is in frequent contact (albeit one level beyond complete strangers) with an especially bitter ex-gf of mine. Our mutual friends had always described myself and the ex as the perfect couple, and they "had never seen it coming". This past relationship ended in probably one of the most terrible ways, with words and dirty tricks exchanged mutually and on both sides. If I don't want to speak about it with my current GF, I suspect (strongly) that she will assume that I'm trying to hide things from her , or worse, that I still have feelings for this girl.
Although I think that some info on where I've failed could help in my current relationship, I feel like it could be disastrous in many ways. The past relationship involved alot of hurt from my lack of feelings, along with pretending to love a girl that I knew would never work for me. Although this isn't a problem in my current relationship, I'm almost certain it could sew a seed of doubt I can't afford. In this way, I'm not sure if the ex will talk to my girl about it, or if she already has and is testing me.
Anyway, I'm curious on any of your thoughts about this, or your thoughts in general about how you handle your ex's with your SO's.
|