irateplatypus

i go on kicks when i can't tear myself away from the food network. a lot of the time i won't really be watching it, but i'll have it on in the background. the thing is... most of the personalities they have on those shows tend to piss me off. the cooking is very interesting but listening to some of these people talk makes me long for fingernails on a chalk board. which of these are your favorite? most loathed? what makes you feel one way or the other?

emeril
i don't mind emeril that much... but he has several phrases that he just beats into the ground. if we would just cut down on the "bam's" and the "oh yeah baby's" he would be so much more tolerable. the worst part of his shows is how the audience feels the need to cheer when he adds something remotely spicy or alcoholic to the recipe. i just don't get that part...

bobby flay
the stuff this guy cooks is usually pretty good... but he just seems so full of himself. the slight speech impediment drives me nuts.

rachael ray
hate the accent, hate the sense of humor, hate her choice of words. she says the same damn jokes on every show. hire a writer or find a personality please. that being said, her recipes are usually very do-able and well thought out. a lot of the stuff that has found its way into my own cooking has come from her shows.

giada de laurentis
this chic is hot, but i wish she wouldn't feel the need to give the camera an ear-to-ear smile after every single line. good style, good recipes... delivery seems forced and phony

jaime oliver... the "naked chef" dude
one of my favorites. accent is peculiar... but doesn't grind my nerves like rachael ray's does. recipes are exotic and are rarely practical... but his delivery makes his shows easy to watch.

ming tsai
not a fan of the recipes, but his personality doesn't bother me in any particular way

the "how to boil water" crew
this show consists of some guy who is the "expert" and a blond (who is really hot, just see the other thread in here) who is deliberately stupid. no matter what show he is on... the guy always comes across as a real prick. i think the girl is just too stupid in a deliberate sense. i watched two back-to-back episodes where she pretended not to know how to do the same damn thing. aggravating. i think the title of show should be "how to make your blood boil".

alton brown
my favorite on the network. he takes a cerebral method of explaining the cooking that doesn't insult your intelligence that i really like. employs a bit of sketch comedy that is surprisingly creative and doesn't distract from learning about the food.

barefoot contessa
i refuse to listen to one more "healthy living" tip from someone so fat. oh yeah, and a great drinking game would be geared to how many times she says the word "flavor" during the course of an episode. someone buy this lady a thesaurus.

and finally, they could all pull back on telling us how good the food is that they've just prepared. i've yet to hear any of them say what they've fixed borders on the bland or that they've screwed it up. it just gets tired and redundant. also, please stop telling me that everything is so easy to make and that it just takes a little time. if nearly all cooking is that easy... then it's just ridiculous to say it after every show. let me know if it's hard... otherwise i'll just assume i can handle it.

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If you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly, you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance for survival. There may even be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves.

~ Winston Churchill