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Originally Posted by joeb1
Not really tring to find a scapegoat. My uncertainty lies with "parenting" as something we are not born knowing how to do. I have not placed the blame on anyone or anything. I thought it was a relavant topic online with the xbox post.
Just wanted to explore some answers as to why he has acted the way he has. And to find out if this behavior is typical of a boy his age and situation.
If it is normal behavior.. fine.
If it is because of "bad parenting". Even better... it is easier to change my actions than his.
I personally feel that you are way off base. Kids learn and absorb ALL that is around them. The good and the bad. From TV, video games, parents, siblings. And it does not take sticking them in a room with that as their only stimuli.
Fun factor or not.
A young child is still going to mimic what they see or hear. Or as my scientist friends say, "The brains pre-frontal cortex will at a young age pick up on this type of environmental stimuli."
The brains pre-frontal cortex is responsible for planning, organizing and sequencing behavior for self-control, moral judgment and attention.
His is still developing. And I am trying to teach him the correct way (right from wrong). If the stimulus from the xbox is affecting him in a negative manner. Then the negative will be removed until he is able to discern that it is just a game.
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Once again, I was not accusing you of finding a scapegoat, but rather basing your skepticism on the claims of parents who have. While all that you said is true, all it takes is a parent to be present and say, "No!" Viola, the child either stops, or does it again and needs some negative reinforcement from the parent (how you punish your child is none of my business, just as long as its done out of love and not anger).
My main point is this: So many people say, "Videogames teach my kids...," "Movies teach my kids...," "Television teaches my kids...," while they're completely missing the actual problem. If the parents are there to guide the children, rather than talking on the phone 24/7, laying on the couch, eating cheesie puffs while watching Ricki Lake (Believe me, I've come home from school when I was little to see my mom doing just this, while my little 2 year-old brother ran amok), then the child has a chance. Their problem is the parenting, not the entertainment that they throw at their kids.
Sure, I understand some children require aggressive limitations on this kind of stuff, such as overly-hyperactive children (I was pretty hyperactive as a child, even though I was never diagnosed as such, and I did some pretty stupid stuff. You should've seen my grandma's face when I took my baked potatoe and screamed "Test your might!" and karate chopped it), but for most, all it takes is a parent's presence and action.
So you say your kid is getting into light-sabre fights with you out of nowhere. Give him some negative reinforcement. Of course since it's been quite awhile, he may need aggressive limitation to the exposure of any sort of media, but not for more than what it takes for him to stop. Once you get it in his head that certain things are not OK, I would assume when he saw such things on TV, he would see it as something bad happening in the game. Children are children, but they're not stupid. They learn just like you and I do; they just need your help as they're still developing physically and physiologically.