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I don't know where to find the answers to my questions.
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Have you considered the possibility that there may not be answers to your questions. At least, not the kind of answers you are looking for. Douglas Adams in "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," wrote that the answer to life, the universe and everything is 42. If that answer doesn't make sense to you, then perhaps you need to consider that you don't really know what the question is.
Either way, asking questions is never a bad thing.