Some of you may know that I recently bolted from the west coast to find happiness in New York City. BuDDaH and I found an apartment and have moved in. For the last few weeks, however, I've been living in fairly crappy comfort, having only an inflatable mattress and my suitcase for a table. Well, last week we bought a couch, and today it was delivered.
Now, I must tell you about this couch. It's fucking comfortable. We wouldn't have spent as much as we did if it wasn't. When you sit down on it, it's supreme comfort coaxes a deep, satisfied "Ahhhhhhhhh" from your throat. It's also fairly big (for an apartment) so we were a little unsure of if it would actually fit where we wanted it to. Oh yeah, there's another thing I gotta tell you. We live on the 5th floor of a 5-story walkup.
BuDDaH and I decided to help the poor delivery guys by carrying one of the two large couch sections and letting them handle the other. What a fun, needed workout. I feel stronger already. We managed to get our piece up the thin stairway in good time. We were pumped and ready to do more, but the delivery guys came in lugging the second piece, winded and aching. Don't they get paid to do this?
Anyways, once the delivery guys left, we pulled open the wrapping on the couch sections to discover that we had let the delivery guys leave too soon. The couch feet had to be screwed on. That's still their job, right? Well, here we were with a nice new couch, a few wood screws and some wedges of wood. What good does that do us? We called the furniture store that we had bought the couch from and they offered to let us borrow a power screw driver. Ok, fine. We walked about 7 blocks to pick it up and then went back to our apartment.
Then, the battle began.
I've never understood how philips head screws became popular. They aren't that nifty. Especially when they are wood screws and you have to bore them through planks of hard wood. If you dont have the absolute perfect bit on your screwdriver to fit the often shallow head of the screw, it's strip-city for you. That is; for US. What does a screwdriver going 100mph do when it suddenly meets a fair amount of resistance from the screw? chkchkchckhckhckhckhckchckhckhckhckchckh!!
BuDDaH was the drill man while I sorta just used my body weight to make sure the couch didn't go flying across the room as he 'got personal' with the screws. chkchkchckhckhckhckhckchckhckhckhckchckh!! I don't know what the fuck was up with these screws... were we trying to drill into industrial steel bolts or something? We kept listening for the satisfying squeak of the screw displacing wood as it dug deeper in, but we only heard chkchkchckhckhckhckhckchckhckhckhckchckh!!
There came a point where BuDDaH was making like Bill Murray in Caddyshack; talkin' to the screw, trying to intimidate it. "Bite, bitch! Bite!"
Finally, after quite a bit of fuss, and a lot of strippage, we got the last foot secured on the couch. We had won the war! Time to relax .. in COMFORT!
The couch, newly delivered. Please note how far away the ground is through the window.
The finished product... BuDDaH likes it.
In all it's glory.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh...
VICTORY!!
More relaxin...
The damage!
