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How long has she been taking the anti-depressants? It's quite possible that they will begin to work soon and you may see a huge difference. However, it can take time to find a drug that works well so she may have to try a few drugs before finding one that works.
In the meantime, I've always found it helps me a lot to have someone simply care for me... someone to hug me and kiss me a lot and just tell me that they love me. Sometimes it's hard to know what to do, and that's when you can just be there. Even being in the same room can help sometimes.
It is definitely important to try to get her to leave the house and do things, but maybe she'll need you with her when she does them.
I'm sure this is very hard for you, and you are doing a lot of extra work to try and help her. Try to remember that even though she isn't verbally thanking you, your help is very much needed and appreciated. She is probably very relieved that she has you to help her, even if she hasn't expressed it.
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