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I'm refreshed at the level of maturity of the females on this board. Most of the time you see this sort of thing and girls almost always side with the female...or completely change tones/sides when they find something new out. I would have expected "Oh yeah you poor thing yer right to be suspicious..WAIT...You read her IM's? You put a tape recorder in her house??!! Who the hell do you think you are? You got some nerve! That is none of your business you don't own her! blah blah blah."
I feel for you man. This can't possibly be easy but they're right. What kind of person sneaks around on someone they REALLY love? I've had lots of girly friends too. Rarely ever did we make sexual references without obvious sarcasm and never have they ever said "I want you" either. I have encountered girls who will tell me they love me harmlessly, and making sexual jokes like "Lookin hot" or "I wanna jump your bones" but they were just jokes. Break it off man. Then see how quickly she goes to her "friend" that she has. If she doesn't immediately get with him once you've cut her off then maybe she really did love you and feels bad for what she put you through and needs a time or mourning. That would show she was just confused and wanted to be sure...it happens but if she goes straight into his arms that will tell you she didn't really care to marry you and was just waiting for you to break it off so they could REALLY get together.
Good luck man.
Asta!!
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"I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project 
It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!  - Asta!!
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