well, if i were a very bad girl, based on the info from your side--good bet i'm sleeping with the other guy. we've been together a long time and old habits die hard--it's tough to break off a relationship after 7 years, especially when you're planning a wedding. the easiest way to end it for me is to put distance between us and under the guise of friendship, get closer to another guy. being alone after so long, particularly since i'm having trouble making it on my own, scares the hell out of me.
as to why i wouldn't take your money? might be feeling guilty. might be concerned about how others would think of me (family and friends who would find out and knew we were having problems). then again, i might be holding out for more--if you'll pay my way when we're engaged, marriage should be good to me. or, perhaps i don't want to "owe" you and feel like i can't break things off if i accepted the offer?
if she doesn't want you around when she's with her "friend" and asks you to leave cause he's coming over--that's suspicious to me. if he's just a friend, why can't you hang around too? is he having marital probs by chance? think her decision to move out had anything to do with him?
as much as it hurts, you know what you need to do to feel at peace with the situation. and if you don't do it, she prolly will with time. what's really going to suck though, is if you go through with this marriage and a few months in she decides to call it quits (or you do, when you walk in on her and her friend in your bed).
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