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I was the one who cheated... so here's my take.
It's easier to keep lying, especially if you give them wiggle room. Don't say Is there anything you want to tell me? or anything I should know?
Jaid did this, and my mind had just blanked it out, I wasn't ever going to tell him, I felt awful about it, but I'd already lied, it was easier to keep it a secret.
He knows now, and over a year later, we're just now getting to the point that he's fond of me again, so I'm hoping the love will return someday, and I'm willing to stick it out til it does, even if that's never, because I love him and am truly sorry for the pain I caused him.
If you know that he slept with this girl, no doubts whatsoever, say so. Tell him how you know, because while you may have been snooping, it wasn't malicious, at least not from what you've said. Tell him you are okay with him sleeping with her (if you are of course), but that you need to know who you're sleeping with, because you're now sleeping with every partner she's ever had too, but you're not okay with being lied to.
My 2 cents.
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