longbough

Oral sex is fantastic. It's no secret that 99% of all guys love getting good head (the other 1% is lying), but it's certainly unfair that many of the same fellas don't know the first thing about going down on a woman. I've learned a few things over the years about the art of going down - stuff I wish I knew from the start - which I'd like to share here.

I don't claim to be some guru because my opinions are, obviously, a reflection of the women I've dated. That being said, I invite any female advice, insight or criticism about this article.

Men, if you’re going down on a woman for the first time, the first thing to know is that most (but not all) women are more nervous and self-conscious than you are - so be patient, supportive and take your time. With a new girlfriend, it helps to have a gradual escalation - don’t just dive for the clit frantically like a fumbled football. By being slow at first you can both relax while you make mental notes about what she seems to enjoy. As with all sexual acts there’s no one “right” way to do things.

Below I’ll describe the first time I went down on an ex-girlfriend and make additional notes along the way. I’ve numbered parts just to make it easier to read - Don’t follow this like some kind of “recipe."

1. After a good session of petting and foreplay I placed myself comfortably between her legs at the edge of the bed with her thighs around my shoulders caressing the outside of her hips with my hands. I kissed her inner thighs softly and brushed her with my cheeks (Obviously, don’t do this if you have stubble). This might have gone on for 2 minutes or 15 minutes - I really can’t remember. By being gentle and slow I was heightening her senses, eventually making her very sensitive to any touch (Guys, just think of how it feels to have a woman’s soft hair fall over your stomach as she prepares to give you head).

2. As she relaxed I let her feel my breath on her pussy but I avoided touching it. Then I started to play and stroke he pubic fur softly and slowly with my fingertips. (In my experience this can be very effective at heightening a woman’s senses) I kissed her pubic hair just above her pussy while wrapping my arms around her thighs and hips. *She’ll often tell you what feels good in the way she moans (...unless she’s faking, of course)

3. I spread her thighs gently and gave her superficial kisses all over her outer pussy. (The operative word here is “superficial.”)

4. Up until this moment I kept everything “dry”- (i.e. no tongue, no spit.) Then, without warning, I let the tip of my wet tongue drag once from the bottom of her pussy to the top of her clit. This sudden, unexpected warm, wet and soft violation made her gasp with excitement. You can also try licking from her asshole to her clit. This one can drive a woman wild - I’ve only had positive reactions to that one, but maybe I’ve just been lucky.

*When you do this make a mental note of where you felt the clitoris. This is especially helpful if you happen to be in the dark. As silly as it sounds I find it useful to “index” the site by keeping my finger just north of this spot so I can find it quickly without fumbling around.

5. I then started circling her “inner lips” with my tongue.

*I should mention that I used to do “tongue exercises” in private. The tongue is a muscle so I practised stretching it out as far as possible to increase its reach. I also practised moving the tip of my tongue in smaller and smaller circles for extended periods of time and practised making it wiggle up and down for as long as possible. The important part is learning endurance and breathing without drooling. I’m sure I’m not the only guy who has ever done this. Believe me, it’s worth the time and effort!

6. I inserted my tongue deeper into her pussy making circles all the way.

*Some men have a problem with a woman’s “smell.” I guess I’ve been lucky because I’ve always found a woman’s private scent and taste to be delightful. If you’re not used to it, then I advise you to GET used to it! When you’ve done that you can then learn to LOVE it.

*Don’t slobber all over her pussy. Maybe there’re some women who actually like this but I never met one. In short, plan to be doing more swallowing than spitting. If you like the way she tastes then you’ll want to swallow as much of her as you can and make her cream as much as humanly possible. There’s nothing more exciting than when you’re both worked up in a frenzy - she’s grinding herself into your face and you’re hungrily sucking and lapping away! (But watch those teeth!)

*It’s important to discuss your approach to the clit. This is one area where women are completely different from one another. Some women love to have their clit teased and sucked (one girl liked to have it lightly bitten!) while some women are so sensitive you can only apply indirect pressure. First of all, there’s your basic anatomy. The clit is covered by a “hood” of flesh. It’s always nice to start by placing a finger at one side of the clit just north of the “hood” applying pressure downward to her pelvis - this motion will cause the clit to rub against the side of your finger through the hood and even emerge (each woman is built differently so your results may vary). You can vary the amount of pressure and speed of that motion to get a good idea of how sensitive she is. You’ll soon learn that you can reveal the clit by gently pinching the area around it making the hood retract and causing the clit to rise like a cherry on a sundae. In my experience the women I’ve dated liked this better than if I tried to pry her open like a stuck elevator door (ladies, please correct me if I’m wrong). One way to play with a woman’s clit is to rub it through the hood placing a finger to either side. You can then apply a “rolling” motion or a rhythmic squeezing motion. There are a whole variety of ways to rub a clit, both dry and wet. I'll leave that for you to learn for yourself.

*You’ll also discover that an individual woman is capable of a greater variety of sensations in her little clit than you are with your big ol' cock. But, for heaven’s sake, don’t try to make her to explain it to you because she may not know it herself. More often you’ll find it’s something you need to discover together. The feeling she gets from being licked at the bottom of the clit is somewhat different than flicking it from the top... and that’s just for starters. I can write another page on the subject, but the best way is to experiment and explore it yourselves.

7. I next tried a number of different “motions” with her. I can’t recall exactly which ones I did - I usually “shuffle” around the “menu” depending on what she seems to enjoy. Some basic ones are listed below: (I won’t tell you all my “tricks” because some of them aren't easy to describe - besides, I’d be nuts to reveal my best “secrets.” But as long as you remember the basics, you can experiment and make your own repertoire over time).

-Insert your fingers in her pussy and rub the “front wall.” On most women you can find a spot there that drives her wild. You can’t always feel anything but you’ll have to sense her reaction to find it. Your finger should be moving in a “come here” gesture. (Don’t be alarmed if you can’t find the spot. Each woman is different) As she gets more excited then you can use your tongue on her clit at the same time. As long as you did a good job at working up to this moment most women will come easily this way (...but what’s the rush?).

*when you lick a clit learn how to make little circles with the tip of your tongue. You can also try a light rapid up-and-down flicking motion. Sometimes you’ll want to use your lips, too, but you ought to learn to do everything with just your tongue.

-Try applying pressure with the bridge of your nose against her clit while you lick her inside. Some women love this.

-Try inserting a finger in her ass while licking her pussy. You’re taking a chance here. A third of women love it. Another third can’t stand it (potentially ruining the moment). And a third of women will just tolerate it. *As a side note: Anyone who hasn’t discovered the pleasure of rimming doesn’t know what they’re missing!

-You can try 69ing but your technique is going to be much different. I’m sure there are some finer points, but I confess I don’t 69 very often. I prefer going down completely on a woman.

-If your girl is multi-orgasmic then you’ve got it made. You can make her come orally then fuck her while she’s starting to get her breath and work her up to her next orgasm while fucking her. You can’t do this with every woman. One good, strong orgasm seems to be enough for most of the women I’ve known.

-If you know how to use your hands you can drive some women crazy by playing with their clit while fucking her simultaneously. I especially like doing this from behind. Here’s one point that I can’t emphasise enough. If your lady is approaching an orgasm DON’T even THINK about changing your motion, rhythm or (heaven forbid!) stopping. I repeat - DON’T STOP! I don’t care if your hand or tongue is starting to cramp or numb. Continue non-stop as if you were swimming for dear life toward a life raft. Believe me, there’s nothing worse than spoiling a woman’s orgasm. This advice may save your life some day! Some of you guys know what I’m talking about.

As cheezy as it sounds don’t forget to have fun. If you approach it like a chore you’re only going to make it worse for her. Done correctly, this should be something you both enjoy. And try something new each time you go down on her.

It’s definitely worth the effort to learn to do it right and to keep learning because it never becomes rote. I’m always discovering new things only because I like to try new things. For me it’s a special turn-on when you both discover something weird and new. Frankly, some of the most incredible blowjobs I’ve ever had in my life happened right after I went down on a woman and made her come first.

I love it when a woman has a strong orgasm. I love the way her body spasms uncontrollably and the way her pussy contracts over and over again. I love taking in the flood of juices that follow. I love the unexpected squeals and sounds she makes. And I especially love the way her body seems to “hum” afterward when she is resting relaxed in my arms.

I haven't talked about this with anyone before so I'm open to alternative opinions, insights or corrections.