If this thread needs to be locked immediately and I need to be banned, I understand.
I was looking through this thread:
http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=78562
and found that flat5 said something that was interesting to me:
Quote:
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Originally Posted by flat5
<u>Some of you talk as if "love" is an option.</u>
No women love me. I don't have relationships.
When I was younger, porn was usually it for me.
I never went to a pro, now it's too late.
Many higher animals "beat off". Porn is a catalist.
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The portion of interest is underlined.
Love is not an option for me either.
Why? Because I have *extreme* anxiety when it comes to women.
I posted in "coming together" a while ago about "spineless men". Well I've forced myself to grow a spine, and I've actually made some enemies, but hey, who cares. At least I know what I want now, and I am who I am, instead of bending myself backwards for other people. However, this has not helped my girlfriendless situation in the least, and I still get incredibly anxious around women. Okay, so I get anxious around attractive women. But I mean anxious to the point where I will literally leave the area so that I won't have to look at her. And I've been this way since I was around five years old, that I can remember. I've always found girls to be pretty as far back as I can remember; I never understood that whole "cooties" thing.
I tried talking to this one girl in my English class who is really pretty, and intelligent (why should I not look for a girl who has both?), and we got along fine until it seemed like I was supposed to make some kind of move, you know. It was hard enough as it is for me to not freak out and let my anxiety take over, but as soon as she made the slightest hint that she wanted to go a step further, I utterly freaked out. I changed the subject and then... just didn't talk to her much at all. Needless to say, we didn't talk much afterwards for the rest of the semester. Am I completely alone in this? Am I supopsed to be taking some kind of medication for this? Or do I just need to put some liquid courage (alcohol) into my system?
I really wish I could convey to you all how anxious I get. I get incredibly anxious. No, I've never had a girlfriend in my whole life. I've come close, but never there. This really, really sucks for me, and I can't help but feel bitter and cynical about it.