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Originally Posted by martinguerre
i don't trust people who don't grieve.
it simply this...the normative state of the human being is not happiness. why?
there is NO normative state for a human being. we react to what is going on, process information, create our response, etc... to say that it's a choice to feel happy in that situation is just BS. yeah, they can chose to be happy, they can chose to breathe water, too.
hope you don't go saying that at funerals.
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I don't subject people to my perspective unless they ask.
On the thankfully rare occasion that somebody i know dies, i always feel a certain amount of happiness thinking about how fortunate i am to have had this person as a part of my life, and how fortunate i am to have all the relationships that i do have. There is also a sense of loss, though nothing makes you appreciate what you do have like confronting the fact that it is all transitory. I guess maybe you might define happiness differently than i do, but i think it is quite possible to grieve and experience happiness at the same time.