Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Mom has cancer-What do I do now?

coyote · 12-02-2004, 07:32 AM

Frogza:
I feel for your situation, my wife has terminal cervical cancer and it is a horrible battle. One of the important things is too do for her what feels best to you. There were days I didn't go up to the hospital, because I just couldn't. Some people may feel that is selfish or insensitive, but you have to do what is best to kep your self as mentally and physically healthy. Some people don't understand how I keep working at this point, but if I don't get out and get a little 8 hr break, I won't be any good for her and the kids for the other 16 hrs. My kids are 10 and 14, and I have told my 14 year old that I just don't know what it is like to have a sick Mom, and most people his age will not. Another suggestion is do not feel guilty doing the things you enjoy, your Mom does not want you too. At this point your Mom would still have all the options available to her. Surgery, Radiation and Chemo. Unfortunately my wife has exhausted all of those options. Another suggestion for you and your family, be your own advocates in your Mom's treatment. Do not be afraid to get a second opinion or question the treatment choices. When someone gets pregnant, they get a book called "What to expect when you are expecting." I wish there was a manual like that for cancer, but there just isn't. Be there for your sisters, and don't be afraid to cry.
Take care.

12-02-2004, 07:32 AM	#3 (permalink)
coyote Tilted	Frogza: I feel for your situation, my wife has terminal cervical cancer and it is a horrible battle. One of the important things is too do for her what feels best to you. There were days I didn't go up to the hospital, because I just couldn't. Some people may feel that is selfish or insensitive, but you have to do what is best to kep your self as mentally and physically healthy. Some people don't understand how I keep working at this point, but if I don't get out and get a little 8 hr break, I won't be any good for her and the kids for the other 16 hrs. My kids are 10 and 14, and I have told my 14 year old that I just don't know what it is like to have a sick Mom, and most people his age will not. Another suggestion is do not feel guilty doing the things you enjoy, your Mom does not want you too. At this point your Mom would still have all the options available to her. Surgery, Radiation and Chemo. Unfortunately my wife has exhausted all of those options. Another suggestion for you and your family, be your own advocates in your Mom's treatment. Do not be afraid to get a second opinion or question the treatment choices. When someone gets pregnant, they get a book called "What to expect when you are expecting." I wish there was a manual like that for cancer, but there just isn't. Be there for your sisters, and don't be afraid to cry. Take care.