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interesting theory...but as a woman, gotta say it doesn't all ring true. ladder placement is a bit off.
personally, i tend to do the friends thing first. i've been with one guy i wasn't friends with first (we jumped right into dating when we met) and not only are we not together--it was a horrible ending. i have/had friends i wouldn't sleep with--for a variety of reasons. some have been interested, some haven't ever mentioned it. as to what puts him on the "ain't gonna happen ever" list...
1) he's slept with or dated (not just once, but enough times to establish some sort of relationship) a member of my family or someone close enough to me that i consider them family (really close friend). doesn't matter how much time has passed--never gonna happen.
2) he's slept with someone i consider dirty. some girls are nasty enough that i would never ever ever follow them. had a wonderful friend in college that dated a total skank. i was thrilled when he dumped her (finally) but no way could i have slept with him after knowing he'd been with...that. had i not known about her, he wouldn't have made my friends-who-have-zero-chance-of-ever-getting-benefits-even-if-we-are-the-last-two-people-on-earth-and-my-vibrator-is-broken list.
3) he's gay or i think he might be. some girls like a guy who's in touch with his feminine side--i'm not one of them. not to say he can't be sensitive, gentle, blah blah blah. just because he's a cuddler and enjoys a chick flick now and again doesn't mean i won't sleep with him. but if he cries more than i do, good bet i'm not gonna fuck him.
4) i know he'd break my heart. these are the guys with oodles of potential that i know things wouldn't work out with but i couldn't keep the relationship and sex seperate. truely a case of "it's not you, it's me." we couldn't just be fuck buddies because i know i'd eventually want more and he wouldn't/couldn't provide it or the relationship is doomed for some other reason (religious differences or something).
5) he makes a move on me while i'm involved with someone else but vulnerable. for example, my bf and i get in a fight and my friend offers to come over and talk. he gets me drunk and then tries getting in my pants. or my bf is out of town for an extended amount of time and he tries something similar. under whatever conditions, he uses the friendship to try and get me in bed even though he knows i'm not available. (if i were single, the same standard doesn't apply).
other than that...all my friends have some chance of sex under the right circumstances. i guess it is just a matter of cultivating those circumstances.
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