I am much more neat (for the most part) than hubby is, but when it comes to holiday cleaning up, he helps just as much as I do...as for regular housework though....I have to nag him to do anything.
When I have company though, I clean the house, but not spotless. I just make it presentable...it is holidays, and it is going to get messy again!!
I buy the gifts for his side of the family, but I enjoy Christmas shopping and he hates it, so that is fine by me.
I guess it just boils down to what you are comfortable with. If you dont like the current situation, change it! You probably can't do it all yourself, so recruit a relative or two to help you, several women can be pretty persuasive
Good luck!