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Originally Posted by Justsomeguy
It's a simple solution. If they're planning a future together, each other's finance would become a huge factor. If it's just dating, then it really is not his concern.
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Agree. My wife is awful with money so I handle everything. When we first moved in together before we got married, I noticed she never had any money to give me for bills even though she was bringing in at least $1000 a month. Well I sat down with her one night to figure out where everything was going - $400 a month in eating out, a $200 shopping trip, $50 for a present for her mom, $100 lent to her sister, etc etc. She just doesn't pay attention to what she spends or weight it against how much she has. At first I just nagged her about watching her money better, but that never worked so we eventually decided it would be better if she handed her paychecks over to me.
Now I will admit to being a tightass about money. But we have a kid now and our long term goal is to buy a house, and before we can start saving for that we need to pay off alot of our other debt, credit cards and medical bills and car loans. So I don't feel bad at all when she askes for money for stuff we don't need and I say no, I just remind her that we have more debt than income and if we ever want our own house we have to stick to the plan. Not to mention we have to keep the kid fed.
But back when we were just dating and didn't live together I didn't butt in because it wasn't my business then.