billege

Control and Insecurity together, I think.

You're not living together, you're not married. The words "none of his fucking business" come to mind.

Perhaps, he's uptight because the thinks you expect him to pay, and he can't, so he gets embarassed, and acts badly in reaction.

However, if you've told him, listen buddy, I'm a free modern woman with my own money. I don't expect, or need, you to pay my way. If I feel like buying dinner, you'd better be able to handle that. (If he can't, I'd find a man that can!)

If you ain't married, and you ain't living together (thus sharing expenses) is ain't "OUR" money, no way, no fucking how. The fact that he says "we don't have the money" confuses me. There's no monetary "we" in you situation. There's to people who do shit together. Paying for things gets decided each time you spend.

Tell homie to chill the fuck out, or fuck off.

Be strong woman. The last thing you need is a man who thinks he needs to tell you your business. In fact, fuck me!! Don't listen to me either! (wink, wink)

But seriously, my wife didn't need me to tell her shit about her money when we were dating. It never occured to me to tell her either. THe only time I'd even question her spending was the occasion where she'd be ready to buy something expesnive (dinner maybe) for us, or a birthday present for me that was pricey. At that point I'd ask, "are you sure that's okay?" If she said yes, that's the end of the discussion.

I respect my partner. I don't tell her how to handle herself.
Don't let someone tell you.




btw, I still gotta disagree w/justsomeguy.
It's not either partners place to judge "stupid purchases." If she's got the cash to blow on purses, that go straight under the bed never to be seen again, it's her issue.
As a partner, if you're serious about long term shit, it would be prudent to then bring up "hey, I'd like to marry you someday maybe, and XXXX worries me, because spending habits are hard to change even though situations change all the time." That's a good idea.

No one wants to partner up with someone financially fucked in the head. It's a damn good idea to talk about these things to gain understanding, but while still dating, it's not shared business.

Too many people presume they need to know anything about others finacial situation. In our parents day it was a rude ass qustion to ask about personal finances, today it's just more open. Which isn't entirely bad.

The best advice when serious about commiting, is that both partners know each other's expectations. If she hadn't asked him why he's an asshole, she'd have not known he tries to control her spending because he thinks women are idiots with money because of one example. (Which, btw, is LAME ass BS. I chuckle at people that build expectations of a group based on one example, that's brilliant, you know?)

She's studying to be an accountant, I'd be willing to bet she knows WTF she's doing, and I'd be looking to her for advice. But hey, I respect women...

__________________
I can sum up the clash of religion in one sentence:
"My Invisible Friend is better than your Invisible Friend."