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Squishor · 11-09-2004, 11:43 AM

I used to have a friend who was completely deaf, but he could read lips so well he had little problem carrying on a regular conversation. I didn't even know he was deaf until he told me, when I tried to say something to him with my head turned away. This guy was active, did all the regular stuff everyone else does, and had been totally deaf since early childhood. So maybe getting better at lip-reading would help you function a little more smoothly in the world. Are there any resources in your area where you could pick up some skills? Teachers? The thing about that is, I'm sure it's hard to pick up those skills without interacting with people though.

I know another guy whose right hand was damaged at birth. It's small and not very functional at all - he can barely do anything with it. It's actually taken me several years of friendship with him to even be able to remember that he has this problem, because he just goes out and does whatever he wants to, races his car, etc. The only thing is, his car (he has a big mean mustang) is an automatic because he can't shift.

I think the main thing is, like someone else said, to just try going out there and be friendly to people, smile, etc. Most people who are at all mature will work around some defects in a friend, and will likely never even realize how much of a big deal it is for you. If they won't or can't, they are too shallow and you don't need to know them anyway. Classes are a great place to meet people with similar interests, and jobs are another place where you might meet people, even if it's just someplace dumb like a sandwich shop. Or, perhaps you could join a club.

I know it's challenging to think of doing big things when you feel the way you do, so start small. I used to suffer from terrible self-esteem problems and hid away in my room reading books throughout much of my early life. I went to 7th grade with people who actually thought I was mute. Over the years I learned how to interact socially, and eventually I've gotten to the point that I do pretty well, as long as I don't get put on the spot (then I might freeze up). These days, people don't believe me when I tell them I've always felt like a freak, out of place. You have the ability to create yourself and your world the way you want it to be.

11-09-2004, 11:43 AM	#6 (permalink)
Squishor Frontal Lobe Location: California	I used to have a friend who was completely deaf, but he could read lips so well he had little problem carrying on a regular conversation. I didn't even know he was deaf until he told me, when I tried to say something to him with my head turned away. This guy was active, did all the regular stuff everyone else does, and had been totally deaf since early childhood. So maybe getting better at lip-reading would help you function a little more smoothly in the world. Are there any resources in your area where you could pick up some skills? Teachers? The thing about that is, I'm sure it's hard to pick up those skills without interacting with people though. I know another guy whose right hand was damaged at birth. It's small and not very functional at all - he can barely do anything with it. It's actually taken me several years of friendship with him to even be able to remember that he has this problem, because he just goes out and does whatever he wants to, races his car, etc. The only thing is, his car (he has a big mean mustang) is an automatic because he can't shift. I think the main thing is, like someone else said, to just try going out there and be friendly to people, smile, etc. Most people who are at all mature will work around some defects in a friend, and will likely never even realize how much of a big deal it is for you. If they won't or can't, they are too shallow and you don't need to know them anyway. Classes are a great place to meet people with similar interests, and jobs are another place where you might meet people, even if it's just someplace dumb like a sandwich shop. Or, perhaps you could join a club. I know it's challenging to think of doing big things when you feel the way you do, so start small. I used to suffer from terrible self-esteem problems and hid away in my room reading books throughout much of my early life. I went to 7th grade with people who actually thought I was mute. Over the years I learned how to interact socially, and eventually I've gotten to the point that I do pretty well, as long as I don't get put on the spot (then I might freeze up). These days, people don't believe me when I tell them I've always felt like a freak, out of place. You have the ability to create yourself and your world the way you want it to be.