Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - When does money become your s/o's concern

avhg1 · 11-09-2004, 09:17 AM

Your feelings are 100% valid. Stand behind them. I would think that it is one of two things, he is a controlling person or he is jealous in some way. Many times that I've had arguments with my wife, jealousy is the main factor. It's hard for me to see it while it's going on, but after I sit and list my reasons for my feelings, I see it for what it is. I've had to tuck my tail between my legs on quite a few occasions and tell her what a dumb ass I was being.

If it is just a control issue, you should probably see it in other aspects of your relationship. Does he try to tell you what to wear? Does he tell you who you can or can not talk to?

Talk to him about the money at a time that you are not arguing about how to spend it. I would suggest avoiding the terms jealousy, insecurity or controlling. They are likely to put him on the defensive. Who knows, it may stem from how he was raised. My parents were tightwads and I have a hard time avoiding being like that sometimes. See if he has valid reasons for feeling like he should be able to say anything about your money.

11-09-2004, 09:17 AM	#9 (permalink)
avhg1 Insane Location: MD	Your feelings are 100% valid. Stand behind them. I would think that it is one of two things, he is a controlling person or he is jealous in some way. Many times that I've had arguments with my wife, jealousy is the main factor. It's hard for me to see it while it's going on, but after I sit and list my reasons for my feelings, I see it for what it is. I've had to tuck my tail between my legs on quite a few occasions and tell her what a dumb ass I was being. If it is just a control issue, you should probably see it in other aspects of your relationship. Does he try to tell you what to wear? Does he tell you who you can or can not talk to? Talk to him about the money at a time that you are not arguing about how to spend it. I would suggest avoiding the terms jealousy, insecurity or controlling. They are likely to put him on the defensive. Who knows, it may stem from how he was raised. My parents were tightwads and I have a hard time avoiding being like that sometimes. See if he has valid reasons for feeling like he should be able to say anything about your money. __________________ I shake the devil's hand daily... I'd do it hourly, but my hand gets tired.