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Wow wilbjammin, excellent post. I had to say something here because when you talked about, immediacy, disposability, detachment, it rings so true. I made a post a few days ago about the disposability of relationships in Tilted Sexuality, and it refers to exactly this. We're taught to be independent, individualistic, self-righteous, and told that there's always something more, better, faster, to fall back on if things don't work out. It's all too easy to lead your life that way and not think it out for yourself.
Back to the main topic of this thread, for me I do not wish to have casual sex as I feel it more than just physically. It's not a choice I've made, just something I cannot help. I have no confusion in my mind in regards to this. Some people clearly don't feel the same way, I can say from experience. For me sex is indissociable from intimacy/love. I know that if I had casual sex I would feel terrible and regret it.
I have to be honest and say I don't understand why people have casual sex, or just have it for fun. For me it can only be fun with someone I truly care about, and want to share that kind of intimacy with. Even if it's raunchy hot, I still need to feel something for them. Having sex with someone for a night then leaving would make me feel disposable and insignificant, not attractive. To be fair, other people are entitled to feel differently, as they have a different education, experience, personality, and so on. What's right for some isn't right for others.
Another thing I'd like to mention is how angry I feel to see ads about "safe sex" and the way that is also "advertised" in schools. There is no such thing as "safe sex". And I'm not just talking about getting pregnant. I hate the way most people out there think that if they wear a condom, they're safe from STD's, with a very small risk. That is a HUGE lie and it makes me mad.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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