Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Unexpected pregnancy-been married 5 weeks

avhg1 · 11-08-2004, 12:53 PM

Funny that you are so close in MD. I went through a very similar situation, only we were two months away from our wedding ceremony. We had been planning the wedding for over a year, so it wasn't a shotgun wedding.

My wife and I used to have this tradition of renting movies, getting wine and staying up into the wee hours of the night/morning watching movies and getting toasted. Well, one Saturday I got the wine and movies, but she was very reluctant to drink anything. When I asked what was going on, she said that she thought she might be pregnant. We went out to the Walmart (it was about 12am-1am) and bought the pregnancy test. Sure enough she was pregnant. In an instant, so much went through my head, all the thoughts of freedom, money, responsibility and changes in life in general. It scared the shit out of me. I drank all three bottles of wine that night.

Looking back on it, I understand how I felt, but can look at it with a very different perspective. I now have two boys (ages 3 & 4) and my wife is pregnant with twins (another big surprise). I think that very few people are truly ever ready for children. There are always financial and responsibility concerns that will make us uneasy. Some how once you accept that, you make due and you work to find a way through it all. Looking back at over the past 5 years, I can’t remember how much money or debt we had at any certain point. I can’t remember the toys and things that I couldn’t buy. The memories that I have are of Christmas at my in-laws when my older son took his first steps, my boys finding candy on Easter and getting to see that same wonder and joy in their eyes that I had when I was a boy. If you asked me about what was going on at any point in the last 5 years, I would tell you about what was happening with my boys, not where I stood financially or what I was missing out on.

It may sound corny, but love is what makes life worth living. Love your children and the memories and experiences you have with them will far outweigh any concerns and fears you have. Once you open up to parenthood, you will really become a different person.

11-08-2004, 12:53 PM	#2 (permalink)
avhg1 Insane Location: MD	Funny that you are so close in MD. I went through a very similar situation, only we were two months away from our wedding ceremony. We had been planning the wedding for over a year, so it wasn't a shotgun wedding. My wife and I used to have this tradition of renting movies, getting wine and staying up into the wee hours of the night/morning watching movies and getting toasted. Well, one Saturday I got the wine and movies, but she was very reluctant to drink anything. When I asked what was going on, she said that she thought she might be pregnant. We went out to the Walmart (it was about 12am-1am) and bought the pregnancy test. Sure enough she was pregnant. In an instant, so much went through my head, all the thoughts of freedom, money, responsibility and changes in life in general. It scared the shit out of me. I drank all three bottles of wine that night. Looking back on it, I understand how I felt, but can look at it with a very different perspective. I now have two boys (ages 3 & 4) and my wife is pregnant with twins (another big surprise). I think that very few people are truly ever ready for children. There are always financial and responsibility concerns that will make us uneasy. Some how once you accept that, you make due and you work to find a way through it all. Looking back at over the past 5 years, I can’t remember how much money or debt we had at any certain point. I can’t remember the toys and things that I couldn’t buy. The memories that I have are of Christmas at my in-laws when my older son took his first steps, my boys finding candy on Easter and getting to see that same wonder and joy in their eyes that I had when I was a boy. If you asked me about what was going on at any point in the last 5 years, I would tell you about what was happening with my boys, not where I stood financially or what I was missing out on. It may sound corny, but love is what makes life worth living. Love your children and the memories and experiences you have with them will far outweigh any concerns and fears you have. Once you open up to parenthood, you will really become a different person. __________________ I shake the devil's hand daily... I'd do it hourly, but my hand gets tired.