So I've been talking to this girl who has developed a pretty big crush on me. I, however, don't have the same feelings for her that she has for me. She's cute and all, but I just can't help but seeing her as nothing more than a friend. We both kind of flirt with each other, and while talking on the phone the other night, the topic of oral sex came up. Basically, she's put the offer on the table and we've "tentatively" set it for tomorrow. I'm having alot of second thoughts about it though. I think one of my best qualities is the fact that I'm not one of the guys that will have sex with anyone or go out to parties looking for nothing except getting laid. I feel sex is best when you are in a relationship and the closeness of it actually has some meaning. So here I am, one day away from a situation where I could possibly be doing something that I have so vehemently opposed all my life. Casual sex. Mind you, it's not casual sex in it's purest form (because she is my friend and I've known her for a while) but it still feels like it. I would be doing it for the pleasure, and nothing else. There would be no relationship. No connection. Nothing. I would even go so far as to say my actions would be of a hypocritical nature. Yet, I'm having a hard time calling the whole thing off. The allure of getting oral from this girl is intense. Sometimes I think to myself that when I'm 50 I'll look back and wonder what in the hell I was thinking when I was 19 and past up that BJ to that cute girl. Shrug. I don't know what to do.
