This will be the first full week. I remember last Saturday taking our dog for a walk at 5:00 in the morning because I couldn't sleep all night. I don't really feel like I deserve the desire and love because of how we've "survived" over the last 13 years. I haven't been the greatest outlet for support emotionally for my wife and kids but now see a whole new side of me emerging. I desperately want to explore this with my wife to prove that our relationship will be better that it ever was before and try to earn her love...but I can't reconnect with her right now. I hope in time that she will put down that wall of resentment and let me back into her heart. I hope the road is not too long because I don't know how to endure this "all is lost" feeling. Maybe the meds. the Dr. prescribed will help until the feeling eases a little.
Thanks for listening.
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