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SpoilSport · 11-04-2004, 07:42 AM

I hate to be the harbinger of doom here... But a few red flags for me:

1) She has a few years left in her teens.
I do not think she knows what she wants and she is still testing new grounds and identifying herself. In all likelyhood, this will continue to change, perhaps drastically in the next few years, at least. From what I have seen, there is every possiblity that should you stay together, she will continue to lay the blame with you for holding her back and conversely, forcing her into decision that she made exclusively for your benefit.

B) You seem to make it too easy for her to walk all over you. DON'T GET ME WRONG: I think that the fact that you do as much as you do for her is very sweet. But my concern is (and this requires an assumption of age on my part) that you are establishing patterns with this relationship. That she will become accustomed to the role of the recipient permitted constant indulgence and you as the doormat. Forgive me if that is harsh. I do not mean for it to be, but felt that the term was appropriate. I do not mean to belittle your feelings for the girl in any way, I truly do not.

4) "She's well known for saying things she doesn't mean on impulse, this is the thing I try to remember. I be strong, try not to reply with anger or spite. It's very tricky." Why?!!? Reread previous paragraph.

Four months into this relationship... Do you want four YEARS of being treated like this? For all the things you have said you have done for her, you deserve better treatment than this. She's young. She's VERY young. Expect for her to go through mercurial changes, succumbing to not only her own opinions, but those of her friends as well. I am sorry that I could not offer a more cheery post, but this is what I see from my standpoint. Enjoy the relationship for what it is. But do not subject yourself to punishment you do not deserve.

11-04-2004, 07:42 AM	#5 (permalink)
SpoilSport Tilted Location: US, East Coast. Blah.	I hate to be the harbinger of doom here... But a few red flags for me: 1) She has a few years left in her teens. I do not think she knows what she wants and she is still testing new grounds and identifying herself. In all likelyhood, this will continue to change, perhaps drastically in the next few years, at least. From what I have seen, there is every possiblity that should you stay together, she will continue to lay the blame with you for holding her back and conversely, forcing her into decision that she made exclusively for your benefit. B) You seem to make it too easy for her to walk all over you. DON'T GET ME WRONG: I think that the fact that you do as much as you do for her is very sweet. But my concern is (and this requires an assumption of age on my part) that you are establishing patterns with this relationship. That she will become accustomed to the role of the recipient permitted constant indulgence and you as the doormat. Forgive me if that is harsh. I do not mean for it to be, but felt that the term was appropriate. I do not mean to belittle your feelings for the girl in any way, I truly do not. 4) "She's well known for saying things she doesn't mean on impulse, this is the thing I try to remember. I be strong, try not to reply with anger or spite. It's very tricky." Why?!!? Reread previous paragraph. Four months into this relationship... Do you want four YEARS of being treated like this? For all the things you have said you have done for her, you deserve better treatment than this. She's young. She's VERY young. Expect for her to go through mercurial changes, succumbing to not only her own opinions, but those of her friends as well. I am sorry that I could not offer a more cheery post, but this is what I see from my standpoint. Enjoy the relationship for what it is. But do not subject yourself to punishment you do not deserve.