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Originally Posted by avhg1
I don't see working hard as fooling yourself into being happy. I see it as working hard to get to a point of happiness. There are times that it is not possible, but that is a whole different apple. The real problem today, no one wants to work for anything anymore. We expect it to be dropped in our laps.
My wife and I have an amazing relationship, but I won't lie and say that it has been all peaches. It has been very hard at times not to give it up with the excuse that I'm fooling myself and things won't change or get better. The harder you work for something, the more you appreciate it!
As for settling, there is a certain amount of settling that everyone has to do. It is part of life, not everyone will be king, not everyone will be rich, not everyone will be famous. The question is, do you search your whole life for something and not find exactly what you are looking for or do you "settle" with a little less a work toward what will make you happy. I'm not saying that you should keep the first relationship you come across, just not rule out one just because it is not perfect or exactly what you want. I can guarantee that you are not EXACTLY what you SO wants!
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Ok. My answer to most everything is "Its all relative". This rings so true with about everything.
For instance, my ex-g/f (mother of my daughter) is now married with an asshole husband. He has hit her, he is OVER-controling, and very jealous. Hell he forbids her from speaking to friends, and even family members. But in her mind, she can make the relationship work. "He is not perfect, but I can make it work", she says. She is bascially in denial, and fooling herself into "thinking" she is happy. So in THIS instance I still think my thoughts are true.
But like I said, its all relative.
I guess I am a romantic at heart, and still do believe that if you have to work VERY hard at a relationship, it isnt worth it.
It is like a video game (I love games), and if you find yourself doing more WORK than actually enjoying yourself, it isnt a GAME anymore, its a job. For me relationships are suppose to fun, enjoying your life with another, not a job.
Do not get me wrong, there ARE ups and downs, but there is a fine line between working to make a relationship better, and forcing yourself to be happy with someone.