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Rlyss · 11-03-2004, 04:34 AM

Wow, that's a harsh one. Really harsh. How certain are you that it was your comment about being a school teacher/social worker that sparked it off? Also, when she replied 'my little no-hoper', was she referring to herself as a no-hoper, or to you as one?

I had some plans earlier this year to become a teacher, and since I'm finishing an Arts degree, I did get a lot of crap from some people about being a slacker, asking when I'll get a real degree. After a while it did get tough to shrug it off and it got very personal, and I snapped once when my then-girlfriend made a comment about making more money than me in the future. I told her that I know she doesn't have any respect for people who study in my field and I was getting really sick of it, and it caused a number of arguments.

Anyway, my point is that maybe she feels a bit ashamed about her career choice? Of course she shouldn't, but there are always people/idiots who think, 'Those who can, do, and those who can't, teach'. Maybe she's getting a bit of shit from various people and it's getting to her? If you're absolutely certain that during your walk in the park and everything that she was normal, then I guess she was either hiding it well or it was the MSN chat that sparked it.

Then again, there is always the possibility that she just plain isn't happy in this relationship, for one or a number of reasons and she needed a way to get out of it. Ending a relationship with 'It's just not working' always leaves the dumped with a million and one unanswered questions so the easy way out is to just make something up and turn it into a huge deal as an escape. That might explain why she says you guys don't communicate.

But you should definitely talk to her and ask her if this was an impulse thing, or if it's the truth. Hopefully she's strong enough to admit it was on impulse <b>and</b> that she will work extremely hard for that never to happen agin. It's all very well to have a kneejerk reaction to something occasionally but to consistently do it and dismiss it as impulse isn't good enough.

You should do your best to talk to her and communicate what you're feeling, and certainly let her do the same, give her all the space and time she needs and hopefully you can find a balance between support, encouragement and pressure, then she might open up to you and tell you what's really on her mind.

It sounds to me like you're a bit older than her so hey, you've only been with her for four months and true colors are beginning to show. There is always the possibility that she's just a high school kid who doesn't want to be tied down. If that's the case, let her, and you do the same.

11-03-2004, 04:34 AM	#2 (permalink)
Rlyss The Pusher Location: Edinburgh	Wow, that's a harsh one. Really harsh. How certain are you that it was your comment about being a school teacher/social worker that sparked it off? Also, when she replied 'my little no-hoper', was she referring to herself as a no-hoper, or to you as one? I had some plans earlier this year to become a teacher, and since I'm finishing an Arts degree, I did get a lot of crap from some people about being a slacker, asking when I'll get a real degree. After a while it did get tough to shrug it off and it got very personal, and I snapped once when my then-girlfriend made a comment about making more money than me in the future. I told her that I know she doesn't have any respect for people who study in my field and I was getting really sick of it, and it caused a number of arguments. Anyway, my point is that maybe she feels a bit ashamed about her career choice? Of course she shouldn't, but there are always people/idiots who think, 'Those who can, do, and those who can't, teach'. Maybe she's getting a bit of shit from various people and it's getting to her? If you're absolutely certain that during your walk in the park and everything that she was normal, then I guess she was either hiding it well or it was the MSN chat that sparked it. Then again, there is always the possibility that she just plain isn't happy in this relationship, for one or a number of reasons and she needed a way to get out of it. Ending a relationship with 'It's just not working' always leaves the dumped with a million and one unanswered questions so the easy way out is to just make something up and turn it into a huge deal as an escape. That might explain why she says you guys don't communicate. But you should definitely talk to her and ask her if this was an impulse thing, or if it's the truth. Hopefully she's strong enough to admit it was on impulse <b>and</b> that she will work extremely hard for that never to happen agin. It's all very well to have a kneejerk reaction to something occasionally but to consistently do it and dismiss it as impulse isn't good enough. You should do your best to talk to her and communicate what you're feeling, and certainly let her do the same, give her all the space and time she needs and hopefully you can find a balance between support, encouragement and pressure, then she might open up to you and tell you what's really on her mind. It sounds to me like you're a bit older than her so hey, you've only been with her for four months and true colors are beginning to show. There is always the possibility that she's just a high school kid who doesn't want to be tied down. If that's the case, let her, and you do the same.