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Originally Posted by Locs
And thats not even the question. She makes me feel like a freak because this thing we did turned me on, and I am wondering if I am a minority in this "fetish".
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Honestly, it shouldn't matter if you're a minority or not. Every single one of us has an idiosyncracy (usually many more than one) that makes us unique. The key is finding a partner who accepts those idiosyncracies as part of who we are and embraces us as a whole, rather than individual oddities.
I have my own fetishes and such, some of which my husband likes to make sure I get indulged, and some he's simply not into. He is, however, open-minded and trusting enough to be comfortable with me seeking indulgence elsewhere. I have never betrayed my promise of monogamy, yet I've never had cause to complain that my every need was not satisfied.
For the record, I have had over a thousand partners. Many of those were multiple partner situations (3-somes, 4-somes and more) I've done the math, and that equals something like a different partner every other day for the ten years I was non-monogamously sexually active. My husband and I have known each other since before I lost my virginity, so he is well aware of my past.
To the attraction sub-thread, I find that I am somewhat bewildered... so, when you don't have a boyfriend, you turn the attraction thing on, and look around to try out all the attractive ones until you find one you like, then turn it off and find no man attractive while you are dating the one you picked? I find that a little hard to fathom. The qualities to which I am attracted don't change while I'm in a committed relationship.... I find myself not
looking for anything else while I'm dating, but finding someone attractive is just not something a person can just turn on and off. Choosing to act on an attraction, however, is something you can turn on and off.... that's what makes it a choice.
JMHO