I will accept "I'm sorry, I am retarded" and nothing else. 
This one is good though 
Quote:
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"How come the police always get so mad at me when I run away from them?" Asked by a auto burglar after he was arrested. The thief jumped off the fourth level of a parking garage in an attempt to get away.
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Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.
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