TittyBoards?

My story begins when i turned 14, because thats when i discovered the joys of masturbation.... Forget Play Station, N64, movies, music, etc. because masturbation was > than all of them put together...

I quickly became a expert at the art of masturbation, as i was able to use both left and right hands with great ease and skill.. Sometimes i would challenge myself and switch hands rapidly... I called that technique "rapid fire".... If masturabation was a sport, i would be the Micheal Jordon, the joe montana , the mike tyson like athlete just dominating all who dared to challenge me..

Often, i practiced tuning my skill in speed... Thats when "OPeration-minuteman" was founded.. Within 45 seconds i could bust out some young and healthy "juice of life..."

But the hardest skill to master was the the "marathon-run"... The marathon run is based on how long you can last without busting... This would give me the most trouble because the slightiest naughty thought, would cost me my goal in achieving the time of 20 minutes..
I practiced day and night.. Night and day... Worked through the pain and swelling but finally one day i decided to think about homework while trying to fulfil this task.. Thinking about cos, sin, e=mc^2 was a great strategy as it took my worries off my goal and allowed me to just play the game.. Not only did i achieve my goal of 20 mins but i set a record by going 6 mins and 45 secs over 20.. To me that day was the day i climb Mt. Everest and lived to tell about it.....


Well years passed and i finally got a girl friend that i liked and could share my feelings with..

So i told about my unmatchable skill of masturbating and she was a bit disgusted, and felted ashame for me..
She said "dont you know masturbating is a sin?" "Masturbating is like shaking the devil's hand.."

My reply was "if thats the case then me and the devil must bet best friends..."

Thank you if you read all this and for those who didnt find this funny at least i tried