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I agree with what someone said about the mother living vicariously. It sounds to me like you've got a relationship with the mother and not her. I saw an episode of Malcolm in the Middle lately where Malcolm got along so well with the girl's family that he spent all his time with them, and the girl would go out with her friends, and he wouldn't even realize.
I think you can be honest all you want (and you should) but I just can't see this happening. You can really like a woman, even love her, but that doesn't mean you have to marry her, and that's especially not a decision you should make at age eighteen. Personally I think you should explain your situation to the mother (willravel's words are perfect) and then focus more on your girlfriend. Forget the mother, you're not dating her. Stress that you can't afford the phone calls and the driving. Tell her it's not a matter of prioritizing your money, it's just that can't afford it.
See how your girlfriend feels about it all. If she's cool with only seeing you once every few months or a phone call once a week, then forget the mother's wishes. But it sounds to me like whatever the mother wants, the girlfriend's going to want, and I don't think there's a way out of that.
By the way, are you trying to lose her or are you trying to work through these problems?
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