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Seems to me you have explained it to us in this forum pretty well. What comes to my mind is print out your post and all the replys. Place them in an envelope. Go over to your sisters home and give them a nice bottle of wine and the envelope. Instruct them to drink the wine, read the contents of the envelope, wait 24 hours to think about what you wrote, and then come to your place or all of you go out to dinner and talk about it.
Sometimes writing down what you want to say is easier when the other party doesn't listen very well.
Good luck.
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