Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - What the hell? I can't help but think this kinda sux...

K-Wise · 10-20-2004, 04:33 AM

But I am my worst critic. I'm not really happy with this as a whole but I showed it to 2 friends of mine and they loved it so much they wanted me to send them a copy of it. I figured maybe I should give it a shot..how can I learn if I don't right? Feel free to be brutally honest about it. My first effort at writing something that doesn't rhyme and end up turning into rap lyrics. Wanted it to be a little cynical or humorous but also a little insulting as I am insulted by the things women say.....whew..

What is love? Love is a 4 letter word that brings up 119,000,000 webpages on google.com. I just checked. Ya know not a one a those can tell you a damn thing about love right? What do they say?
Men are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken - What exactly makes them good parking spaces? That they're closer to the place you wanna be? Lord forbid you have to walk 10 extra feet....Lord forbid you have to work. Is this how women see men? Is this how they see love? Lord forbid you have to work for love....just wanna get it over with huh? Whats the rest of the joke? And the ones that aren’t are handicaped....Haha! Yeah last time I checked I wasn’t handicaped. Thats right I’m single. And all these so called good men that are taken; would any of these happen to be the men our girlie-friends always complain to us about?
“He just uses me.”
“He's an asshole but I love him!”
“I wish he would change!”
“I wish I had a boyfriend like you.”
But all the good men are taken...or they’re gay! Yeah thats right now I’m gay too!
Me? A good man? How could I be? There are no good men in the world. I don’t exist...at least not to a woman. See they don’t really want a good man...No they want their man to be good. Meanwhile a shoulder to cry on comes in real handy.
“Nice guys finish last.”
“Nice guys are boring.”
Yes theres nothing more boring than someone who actually appreciates you and treats you like a person. But you would rather try to make love work with a man who loves himself too much to love you any more. A man in love with a convenience...not a person.
I once thought things were looking up. I saw a girl with a beautiful soul that was screaming for a good man. Screaming to be loved. I nervously approached her and, with the courage of a man with nothing to lose I uttered, “Hi. My name is Cris..And I am a good man!” She smiled with a smile as sincere as any smile I’d ever seen before, and then she slapped me in the face. I guess I should have asked her what was wrong instead.

Dunno if this qualifies as poetry though...almost borders on being a rant. I'm happy with bits and pieces of it...maybe the opinions of others can make me happy with it on more pieces or even as a whole. Shit...

Asta!!

10-20-2004, 04:33 AM	#1 (permalink)
K-Wise It's All About The Ass!! Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!	What the hell? I can't help but think this kinda sux... But I am my worst critic. I'm not really happy with this as a whole but I showed it to 2 friends of mine and they loved it so much they wanted me to send them a copy of it. I figured maybe I should give it a shot..how can I learn if I don't right? Feel free to be brutally honest about it. My first effort at writing something that doesn't rhyme and end up turning into rap lyrics. Wanted it to be a little cynical or humorous but also a little insulting as I am insulted by the things women say.....whew.. What is love? Love is a 4 letter word that brings up 119,000,000 webpages on google.com. I just checked. Ya know not a one a those can tell you a damn thing about love right? What do they say? <i>Men are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken</i> - What exactly makes them good parking spaces? That they're closer to the place you wanna be? Lord forbid you have to walk 10 extra feet....Lord forbid you have to work. Is this how women see men? Is this how they see love? Lord forbid you have to work for love....just wanna get it over with huh? Whats the rest of the joke? <i>And the ones that aren’t are handicaped</i>....Haha! Yeah last time I checked I wasn’t handicaped. Thats right I’m single. And all these so called good men that are taken; would any of these happen to be the men our girlie-friends always complain to us about? “He just uses me.” “He's an asshole but I love him!” “I wish he would change!” “I wish I had a boyfriend like you.” But all the good men are taken...or they’re gay! Yeah thats right now I’m gay too! Me? A good man? How could I be? There are no good men in the world. I don’t exist...at least not to a woman. See they don’t <b>really</b> want a good man...No they want their man to be good. Meanwhile a shoulder to cry on comes in real handy. “Nice guys finish last.” “Nice guys are boring.” Yes theres nothing more boring than someone who actually appreciates you and treats you like a person. But you would rather try to make love work with a man who loves himself too much to love you any more. A man in love with a convenience...not a person. I once thought things were looking up. I saw a girl with a beautiful soul that was screaming for a good man. Screaming to be loved. I nervously approached her and, with the courage of a man with nothing to lose I uttered, “Hi. My name is Cris..And <font size=3><b>I</b></font> am a good man!” She smiled with a smile as sincere as any smile I’d ever seen before, and then she slapped me in the face. I guess I should have asked her what was wrong instead. Dunno if this qualifies as poetry though...almost borders on being a rant. I'm happy with bits and pieces of it...maybe the opinions of others can make me happy with it on more pieces or even as a whole. Shit... Asta!! __________________ "I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project *It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!* - Asta!!