Mikado

Even though this thread may sound like it, I'm not posting another "how do you get women" post. I do have a question about dating etiquette though. I just recently started dating again, after a long 3 year relationship went south. For some reason I'm suprised by how people respond and approach dating. Maybe I'm looking at the wrong women, I don't know. Here's the deal.

I don't have a problem approaching women. I feel like I'm a fairly attractive guy. I don't use cheesy pick-up lines, I just say hello, introduce myself, and go from there. Occasionally I'll compliment them on a certain feature that caught my attention in the first place. Not as a pick-up, just being honest. Generally I get a positive response. We'll carry on in light conversation and I'll eventually get a number or something. But here's the kicker, whenever I call or try to setup a date, it is as if I never existed.

For example, an attractive girl works for a client of mine and we have decent converation every time I meet with my client. I found out one Thursday through the client that her birthday was the next day, Friday. I decided I'd order her some flowers, nothing fancy like roses or anything, but a nice arrangement. On the card I wished her a happy birthday and asked her if I could take her to dinner. Well, apparently the flowers arrived and she was thrilled. The client of mine told me she was very excited and left work early that day carrying the flowers and a smile. They also gave her my cell phone number so she could call and thank me, let me know if she was interested in dinner, etc.

Well, I never got a call. A few days later I happened to call over to talk to my client, and she answered. I went ahead and asked her if she had received the flowers. She said yes and that she was very thankful, and that they made her day. I asked her if she'd like to get together for dinner sometime, and she said yes. Great so far right? Well since then, every time I call I get her voicemail and she never calls me back. I'm not calling everyday either, like I'm stalking her or anything, just on a weekend to see if she's free. Well several weeks pass by and I eventually gave up. Then this afternoon I stopped by their office to drop off some paperwork. She was nice as usual and we again had a light conversation. Not once did she mention anything about getting together, about my voicemail I left her, or anything of that nature.

Now, maybe things have changed, but do people not have the strength to tell someone "No."? I can handle a no. It won't hurt my feelings, I'm not in love with them at first sight, and there's no real attachment there. But why tell me you'd like to go, give me your phone number, ask for mine and not once return a call, setup a date, or anything? All this babble is just one example of several in the last few months too. I've gathered a dozen or so phone numbers, and only one has actually got back in touch with me. We ended up going out too, but nothing really came of it. Again, I'm a big guy, I can handle rejection. So why all the sly moves? At this point I'd perfer a simple "No" than a phone number.