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She cheated in the past, so what? That doesn't necessarily mean she'll do it again. If I were the guy, I probably wouldn't say a word about it, but I'd at least have me a nice little CD tucked away with those documents on it just in case there was ever a fire to fuel.
People have fantasies, whether they are right or wrong, they still have them. Her talking about this guy to her best friend (in my opinion) is no different from you and your married friend being at a bar and seeing a hot waitress walking by and saying "Damn, I'd like to have a piece of that~!" Your friend may say it, and he may truly want it, but in the real world he knows the rules of marriage (or at least a happy one!) say "Look, but don't touch!"
We all talk about our problems with our best friends. I don't really know the context of these documents, but they could have been her discussing this thing with her friend as if she had a problem with those fantasies - not that she was planning on loading up the Winnebago and heading out west to jump this guys bones.
After 12 years of marriage with kids involved, I highly doubt she'd be seriously considering getting back with an old OLD flame, but there are exceptions to every rule.
I'd wait it out and see. If it's in contemplation right now, it could go either way, but confronting her could just piss her off and immediately sway the decision. Then, boom 12 years of marriage down the drain... and oh the lawyers and judges will have a field day with custody of the kids and where the money goes. I'd just be patient, if she's made up her mind, it's coming anyway.
Just my two cents, and sometimes I have a twisted perspective on things =/
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