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I don't think people are saying lie to her or speak a half truth but if it DOESN'T come up there isn't a real good reason to tell her. He's already violated the trust and if he's stopped he's stopped.
Let's say hypothetically that she and he get through this it isn't brought up she doesn't find out and their relationship goes good and they get on with their lives which is very much possible.
Now let's say he sits her down...tells her out of the blue...she's going to get pissed. It's going to push a relationship on the edge all the way over and things will be over and done with over something stupid he did true enough but it was something he knew was wrong and stopped.
His being forthright and honest would have just cost him his marriage and for what really?
If it comes up in an everything on the table counciling session I can't say he shouldn't tell her. But come out right now and say..."Honey...I cheated on you and I'm sorry please forgive me." Not smart at all.
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