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Old 10-13-2004, 10:45 AM   #3 (permalink)
blade2567
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It's an easy read...and the images you paint jump out very nicely...it is a bit self indulgent in places though...some of my favorite authors are guilty of that.

I can hear the narration in my head and there are a few places where it turns from telling me the story to lecturing me on the reality of being.

The paragraph about individual people not being special sounded more like a lecture than a passage. Is there a better way to say this? Most people know this stuff already. Maybe just a passing line about instead of a full paragraph.

Overall I would love to read more...I like the darkness it conveys while not being too dark...and I gotta know - who'd he shoot?
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