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Well, the only one reasonably unfamiliar with the strained relationship with the mother of the daughters is the BIL. Ali, I'd suggest your husband have a talk with your sister's husband to try and explain the family dynamics. After all, you and your sister have been on the inside all along. Your husband is the only one out of you three who has been "indoctrinated." It only makes sense that he could share with you BIL his experiences, as they're both sons-in-law to the mother.
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