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Read the comments by Clavis about him ending the affair and hiding it from his wife to save her feelings.
I agree: end the affair, immediately. But I recommend asking his wife to go to couples counseling with a strong counselor, and after a few sessions, breaking the news to her in a safe environment and dig down, commit to the marriage and working on the reasons why he had the affair to begin with.
Hey, the relationship was in serious trouble BEFORE he had the affair. Go after the root causes. You cannot kill johnson grass by mowing it: kill the roots, and plant new grass.
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