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10-12-2004, 04:42 PM

PLEASE, DANBILES- READ MY POST WITH UTMOST CONIDERATION!!!!

Ok, first off, I have a BIG confession to make. It's not an easy one, since a lot of you know Moon and I- but recently I did have an affair. I am not proud of it by any means, and I wish I could take it all back- but I can't.
Moon unfortunately found out by something other than me telling him. That is even worse than actually being upfront and honest about the mistake. I could have lost everything. But Moon chose to work things out with me- as I wanted to as well. We are going to marriage counseling now, which I am very thankful for.
Listen- put yourself in her position: Would you rather find out about your SO's affair by them confessing themselves and being honest with what they did OR find out by other means of sources, through the grapevine, etc.?
Would you really be content not telling her? Even though you don't have sex or even talk anymore??? Maybe (and I know this may sound wierd) this is what is needed. For something to break the mold and maybe mend things. It will show you what really is important, and reveal what is to be. DON'T base staying together for the kids. Do it because you're in love and you couldn't imagine being with anyone else for the rest of your life. Do you really want a marriage like what you have now? Ideally? Or would you like to try to fix things- or at least know where you need to go with it. I know it is hard to figure out when you have kids, trust me. But you've GOT to focus on the situation at hand and how it WILL affect things for the worse down the road for you, her, and EVEN your children. Even if you keep things quiet, that subconcious in you will build and will seep into your everyday interactions with your family. Your children DO pick up on these things and it can affect them greatly, without even knowing it.
So don't brush it off, don't let it linger, think about what YOU want ideally, what about your WIFE would want, and know that keeping things from each other will be keeping things from your children as well. Value this relationship for all that it is worth. You both came into each others' lives for a reason- what is that reason? I am saying all of this because I have been in your position and I care.

*The NUMBER ONE cause of an affair? LACK OF COMMUNICATION. Seems to be a pattern. TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, WANTS, and NEEDS because those define the real YOU.

10-12-2004, 04:42 PM	#7 (permalink)
:::OshnSoul::: Guest	PLEASE, DANBILES- READ MY POST WITH UTMOST CONIDERATION!!!! Ok, first off, I have a BIG confession to make. It's not an easy one, since a lot of you know Moon and I- but recently I did have an affair. I am not proud of it by any means, and I wish I could take it all back- but I can't. Moon unfortunately found out by something other than me telling him. That is even worse than actually being upfront and honest about the mistake. I could have lost everything. But Moon chose to work things out with me- as I wanted to as well. We are going to marriage counseling now, which I am very thankful for. Listen- put yourself in her position: Would you rather find out about your SO's affair by them confessing themselves and being honest with what they did OR find out by other means of sources, through the grapevine, etc.? Would you really be content not telling her? Even though you don't have sex or even talk anymore??? Maybe (and I know this may sound wierd) this is what is needed. For something to break the mold and maybe mend things. It will show you what really is important, and reveal what is to be. DON'T base staying together for the kids. Do it because you're in love and you couldn't imagine being with anyone else for the rest of your life. Do you really want a marriage like what you have now? Ideally? Or would you like to try to fix things- or at least know where you need to go with it. I know it is hard to figure out when you have kids, trust me. But you've GOT to focus on the situation at hand and how it WILL affect things for the worse down the road for you, her, and EVEN your children. Even if you keep things quiet, that subconcious in you will build and will seep into your everyday interactions with your family. Your children DO pick up on these things and it can affect them greatly, without even knowing it. So don't brush it off, don't let it linger, think about what YOU want ideally, what about your WIFE would want, and know that keeping things from each other will be keeping things from your children as well. Value this relationship for all that it is worth. You both came into each others' lives for a reason- what is that reason? I am saying all of this because I have been in your position and I care. *The NUMBER ONE cause of an affair? LACK OF COMMUNICATION. Seems to be a pattern. TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, WANTS, and NEEDS because those define the real YOU.