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Old 10-12-2004, 10:42 AM   #9 (permalink)
Byzantium
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I loved the Spam-I-AM. Heres another Seuss one but about Star Treck that i found a while back.

If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek


Body :
think Green eggs and ham when you read this....



Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the star,

So, Data, please, how far? How far?

Data: Our ship can get there very fast

But still the trip will last and last

We'll have two days til we arrive

But can the Indrans there survive?

Picard: LaForge, please give us factor nine.

LaForge: But, sir, the engines are offline!

Picard: Offline! But why? I want to go!

Please make it so, please make it so!

Riker: But sir, if Geordi says we can't,

We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,

The danger here is far too great!

Picard: But surely we must not be late!

Troi: I'm sensing anger and great ire.

Computer: Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!

Picard: The ship's on fire? How could this be?

Who lit the fire?

Riker: Not me.

Worf: Not me.

Picard: Computer, how long til we die?

Computer: Eight minutes left to say goodbye.

Data: May I suggest a course to take?

We could, I think, quite safely make

Extinguishers from tractor beams

And stop the fire, or so it seems...

Geordi: Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day!

Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!

Picard: Mr. Data, thank you much.

You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.

Troi: We still must save the Indran planet --

Data: Which (by the way) is made of granite...

Picard: Enough, you android. Please desist.

We understand -- we get your gist.

But can we get our ship to go?

Please, make it so, PLEASE make it so.

Geordi: There's sabotage among the wires

And that's what started all the fires.

Riker: We have a saboteur? Oh, no!

We need to go! We need to go!

Troi: We must seek out the traitor spy

And lock him up and ask him why?

Worf: Ask him why? How sentimental.

I say give him problems dental.

Troi: Are any Romulan ships around?

Have scanners said that they've been found?

Or is it Borg or some new threat

We haven't even heard of yet?

I sense no malice in this crew.

Now what are we supposed to do?

Crusher: Captain, please, the Indrans need us.

They cry out, ''Help us, clothe us, feed us!''

I can't just sit and let them die!

A doctor MUST attempt -- MUST try!

Picard: Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.

Crusher: They may be dead by Tuesday noon.

*COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK

HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE?*

Worf: The saboteur is in the brig.

He's very strong and very big.

I had my phaser set on stun --

A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!

He would not budge, he would not fall,

He would not stun, no, not at all!

He changed into a stranger form

All soft and purple, round and warm.

Picard: Did you see this, Mr. Worf?

Did you see this creature morph?

Worf: I did and then I beat him fairly.

Hit him on the jaw -- quite squarely.

Riker: My commendations, Klingon friend!

Our troubles now are at an end!

Crusher: Now let's get our ship to fly

And orbit yonder Indran sky!

Picard: LaForge, please tell me we can go...?

Geordi: Yes, sir, we can.

Picard: Then make it so!



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