(I'm not attempting to change your mind with my post, I thought I'd just say what's on my mind.)
A few weeks ago I wrote a post in Tilted Living about how I'd recently lost almost everything in my life, at least that's how it felt at the time. My relationship wasn't nearly as long as yours, mine was a year and a half, but it devastated me.
Nowadays I still feel lonely, I still feel anger and resentment and bitterness, and God knows I still feel like I should call her up and beg her to come back, but I just live those days out and look forwards to the times like I felt today (see my Seasonal Scents post in General Discussion).
I'm slowly realizing three things that your post mentioned: even if you don't want to let it go, I think chances are you will. Time heals all wounds, mostly whether you like it or not.
Second, you say that some things are worse than being alone. That is true, but it's also true that there are many things better than being alone. Those four years of your life were better than being alone. That's the bright side.
And third, you are not responsible for your female hairdresser's bad end to a good relationship. That also means that she is not responsible or to blame for your bad relationships. And it also means that the next woman you meet at a bar, or in the library, or at a dinner party... she is not to blame a bad ending to your good relationship. She deserves a chance with somebody like you, who is dedicated, loving, and loyal.
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