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I too grew up with a hippie mother who taught me those same things. My parents raised me to believe I could do anything I wanted to, and gender was not a factor in my house as far as I can recall. I played with Hot Wheels, and although my sister preferred Barbie, she was considered the oddball.
These days I believe the whole idea of feminism has been lost somewhere. There was a sort of backlash I guess, partly fueled by reaction to the utterly humorless types with their strident uncompromising insistence on taking feminism to extremes. So somewhere in the 80s or 90s being a feminist became an embarassment. The young women of today are the product of this era and, sadly, many if not most of them seem to have no idea what the freedoms they enjoy cost our mothers. I know that mine was almost disowned by her family and I'm sure many were. Today, young women seem so absorbed in appearances that they are forgetting to ask for respect for their minds and capabilities. I hope I'm wrong but the evidence points that way, doesn't it? I think our media is responsible for a lot of this but that's another rant.
I agree that being a femist doesn't mean hating men. I love men, and have been fortunate enough to enjoy the company of several very fine men. I also haven't been beaten, called names, treated as inferior or denied the opportunity to make my own choices. I believe this may be because my upbringing taught me to expect a certain level of respect and I don't mean opening doors. My boyfriend I'm with now listens when I have something to say, and I return the favor. As far as lifting heavy things, well, the fact is that men and women are built differently, so in my old age I have learned to ask for help but that doesn't diminish my self-respect.
I see a lot of angry young women around these days and I'm not sure why. I live near a downtown area where a lot of young people tend to hang out, especially on the weekends, and I see a lot of frustration and animosity in the air. I don't know what this is about, but I wonder if it has anything to do with the trends mentioned above. The thing is, if you examine the psychology behind a lot of male-dominating behaviors, in essence a lot of it boils down to a power struggle. Every time you let some guy yell something rude at you without making your objection known, you become the loser and you make it okay for them to continue doing that. Not that I go around yelling back at people because it's hard to do, and unpleasant. But given the opportunity I do let people know that I don't appreciate being treated as anything other than a complete human being.
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