Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - My girlfriend can't climax unless SHE does it!

quagmire · 10-07-2004, 08:35 PM

So, my girlfriend and I have been together for 3 months, and I really care about her. She's a great partner, a beautiful woman, and a good friend... I really can see this going far. We started sleeping together about a month ago, and much to my dismay... I can't seem to make her climax. She has assured me that the sex feels amazing, and a couple times, she has actually screamed herself hoarse... but the only thing that puts her over the edge and actually makes her climax is if she masturbates.

Now, the trouble is... when she masturbates alone... sometimes, she can't even make herself climax. So, after we have sex, (if we aren't both completely exhausted) I'll suck on one of her nipples while using my tounge to stimulate it. At the same time; she fingers her clitoris, and I normally have one or two fingers inside of her, working on the wall of her vagina right behind the clitoris. This activity normally takes about 10-30 minutes before she comes... and that is a wonderful thing. She's really beautiful, and I love to see her satisfied.

Normally, before sex, we may have anywhere from 20-90 minutes of foreplay... I really care about her a lot and I enjoy teasing her and really making an event out of our love-making... I give her as much oral as she can stand (and I put it that way, because normally I stop at her request) and I may finger her a while, and kiss her all over... I must admit, the foreplay is top-notch.

The trouble with me working on her body is this: I've heard about the fact that with a woman's body, a good touch can become a bad touch, almost without notice. i.e. a motion or amount of friction can go from very pleasureable to extremely uncomfortable in a split-second. So, since I am not directly tied into her central nervous system... I have a hard time telling what the body is doing. She tries to remember to communicate to me how she's feeling, but honestly... the less she has to think about during sex/foreplay, the better

She's assured me that she's never been able to climax from sex, and that she's not even able to do it herself, every time... so I'm kinda stuck on where to go from here. I fear for her, that there may be some emotional block that prevents her from really letting go and letting her body feel the pleasure. And her inability to climax is becoming (as horrible as it sounds) a bit of a turn-off to me. I know going into sex, that I'm going to have to do a lot of work once I've come, to get her off. I'm absolutely willing, but often times we're talking about a half-hour of neck-breaking-carpal-tunnel-enducing, sexual acrobatics.... sorry to be dramatic, but it's been a real feet sometimes.

Even though she says that sex with me is wonderful, I have a hard time accepting that as "good enough". Half of it is my macho need to satisfy/conquer her body... and the rest of it is that I really want her to enjoy sex as much as possible, and I'm certain that the human race doesn't know enough about our bodies to say for sure that some people CAN'T climax from penetration.

I have been with women that are more external than others... I have also been with women that were mult-orgasmic from intercourse. I have also been with women that faked it [badly].

... So c'mon internet... fix my problems!

'er... Uhm... I mean, any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

10-07-2004, 08:35 PM	#1 (permalink)
quagmire Upright	My girlfriend can't climax unless SHE does it! So, my girlfriend and I have been together for 3 months, and I really care about her. She's a great partner, a beautiful woman, and a good friend... I really can see this going far. We started sleeping together about a month ago, and much to my dismay... I can't seem to make her climax. She has assured me that the sex feels amazing, and a couple times, she has actually screamed herself hoarse... but the only thing that puts her over the edge and actually makes her climax is if she masturbates. Now, the trouble is... when she masturbates alone... sometimes, she can't even make herself climax. So, after we have sex, (if we aren't both completely exhausted) I'll suck on one of her nipples while using my tounge to stimulate it. At the same time; she fingers her clitoris, and I normally have one or two fingers inside of her, working on the wall of her vagina right behind the clitoris. This activity normally takes about 10-30 minutes before she comes... and that is a wonderful thing. She's really beautiful, and I love to see her satisfied. Normally, before sex, we may have anywhere from 20-90 minutes of foreplay... I really care about her a lot and I enjoy teasing her and really making an event out of our love-making... I give her as much oral as she can stand (and I put it that way, because normally I stop at her request) and I may finger her a while, and kiss her all over... I must admit, the foreplay is top-notch. The trouble with me working on her body is this: I've heard about the fact that with a woman's body, a good touch can become a bad touch, almost without notice. i.e. a motion or amount of friction can go from very pleasureable to extremely uncomfortable in a split-second. So, since I am not directly tied into her central nervous system... I have a hard time telling what the body is doing. She tries to remember to communicate to me how she's feeling, but honestly... the less she has to think about during sex/foreplay, the better She's assured me that she's never been able to climax from sex, and that she's not even able to do it herself, every time... so I'm kinda stuck on where to go from here. I fear for her, that there may be some emotional block that prevents her from really letting go and letting her body feel the pleasure. And her inability to climax is becoming (as horrible as it sounds) a bit of a turn-off to me. I know going into sex, that I'm going to have to do a lot of work once I've come, to get her off. I'm absolutely willing, but often times we're talking about a half-hour of neck-breaking-carpal-tunnel-enducing, sexual acrobatics.... sorry to be dramatic, but it's been a real feet sometimes. Even though she says that sex with me is wonderful, I have a hard time accepting that as "good enough". Half of it is my macho need to satisfy/conquer her body... and the rest of it is that I really want her to enjoy sex as much as possible, and I'm certain that the human race doesn't know enough about our bodies to say for sure that some people CAN'T climax from penetration. I have been with women that are more external than others... I have also been with women that were mult-orgasmic from intercourse. I have also been with women that faked it [badly]. ... So c'mon internet... fix my problems! 'er... Uhm... I mean, any feedback would be greatly appreciated.