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Are you certain she's not emotionally interested in you? From what you've written I don't think she is, but perhaps it's something to keep in mind. Maybe she likes you?
Perhaps a bit off the mark.
I'm surprised at this situation. I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with it, but I've never been in a situation where I'm <i>that</i> comfortable with a friend. Even if you do somehow figure out how to make her come by fingering her, it won't be the same when she's with another man and actually having sex with him. It'll be different then, and she'll be back at square one, and won't know what to do but grin and bear it and fake an orgasm to get the man off her.
If she wants to be comfortable with her body, and with sex, enough to have an orgasm, then in my (limited) opinion, she doesn't need a friend to finger her, and she doesn't need to lie to a man that she's with. What she needs is a steady boyfriend, who she's emotionally and sexually attached to, who can assure her that there's no rush, and who can help her through this as a partner.
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