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I'm not on any medication, I'm just having serious heart and neurological problems right now, and the doctors are trying to figure out what's wrong. My girlfriend told me once we figure out what's wrong then we can start to deal with my "special problem."
I can never bring this up with her again because she's only going to get upset. She called me an asshole because I started saying stuff like "well if we continue the way we're handling this you're going to have to find someone else since I'll never just get over this and be able to have sex." She wants to have kids, and it scares me that in a few years it'll get to the point where I'll still be nervous because of how she handles it, and then she'll have to find somebody else to have kids. She gets mad at me because she says it's not her fault at all and this isn't even important right now. If I tell her it's important to me she'll think I'm just another guy who needs sex. God damnit it's irritating me so much because I can not speak with her about this or she'll just get mad again. Besides, if I tell her how much it's bothering me, what can we possibly do? If we get into another big fight about it, the next time I see her it'll be so uncomfortable in bed that I'll have to just kiss her and say goodnight.
And by the way, I can get myself off just fine. It's the sense of someone else being there that makes me cringe.
She cares about me, but for some reason she just gets very irritated about this subject and it's because she's never had to deal with it before. She yelled at me telling me she's had sex 100s of times before (with only one ex) and she's never had this problem. I tried explaining to her that I don't need male enhancement pills (which she suggested) because this is entirely anxiety and nothing medical or physical. I just wish we could resolve this issue and I could go on assured about my performance.
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