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thed00t · 09-28-2004, 03:49 PM

Tell her to stop calling you an asshole. Then explain that it's very important to you, and you can't explain why. It's instinct, but that isn't the point. The point is, it's important to you, and so it's important to her. If she has a problem with that, or doesn't feel it as important, then I would restress that it's something that you need to work through, or you just won't feel right. It's not the physical thing for you anymore, it's mental. It's her calling you an asshole and trying to play it off. It probably started physical, but for whatever reason, it's now mental. I think partial proof in that is the fact that you keep brining up the "things she said" after you "said something disrespectful". Clearly you are dwelling on this and your innate sense of rejection is roadblock. You need a create an enviroment where this is a non-issue and she understands your frustration.

As for the anxiety, I don't really have much advice. But you need to get over that mental hurdle first and she needs to help you. She needs to WANT to help you in order for it to work. Otherwise, you'll end up resenting her for helping you, but not wanting to help you. If she doesn't want to do this, and/or unwilling, then I'm sorry my friend, but you need to consider that relationship doomed. After explaining and helping her understand the importantance that is. I'm not advising to just give up.

I think part of HER problem might be that she feels the importance lies within you just getting off. And it's not that. Girls don't think like us, and getting off to them can be a non-issue. For us, it's not only sexually frusterating and can be physically unconfortable, but it also does a great deal for our overall self confidence and mood. This is the part she needs to understand. It's hard to explain, because honestly we don't even know the why, we just know.

Once you guys get over that hurdle, I suspect the rest will fall into place. Hopefully the both of you will be so enamoured with the new sharing of intimacy that both of you will be eager to couple. And I suspect once you do it once, the whole newness of the relationship will not make it the last.

I hope that helps.

09-28-2004, 03:49 PM	#5 (permalink)
thed00t I'm a fool.	Tell her to stop calling you an asshole. Then explain that it's very important to you, and you can't explain why. It's instinct, but that isn't the point. The point is, it's important to you, and so it's important to her. If she has a problem with that, or doesn't feel it as important, then I would restress that it's something that you need to work through, or you just won't feel right. It's not the physical thing for you anymore, it's mental. It's her calling you an asshole and trying to play it off. It probably started physical, but for whatever reason, it's now mental. I think partial proof in that is the fact that you keep brining up the "things she said" after you "said something disrespectful". Clearly you are dwelling on this and your innate sense of rejection is roadblock. You need a create an enviroment where this is a non-issue and she understands your frustration. As for the anxiety, I don't really have much advice. But you need to get over that mental hurdle first and she needs to help you. She needs to WANT to help you in order for it to work. Otherwise, you'll end up resenting her for helping you, but not wanting to help you. If she doesn't want to do this, and/or unwilling, then I'm sorry my friend, but you need to consider that relationship doomed. After explaining and helping her understand the importantance that is. I'm not advising to just give up. I think part of HER problem might be that she feels the importance lies within you just getting off. And it's not that. Girls don't think like us, and getting off to them can be a non-issue. For us, it's not only sexually frusterating and can be physically unconfortable, but it also does a great deal for our overall self confidence and mood. This is the part she needs to understand. It's hard to explain, because honestly we don't even know the why, we just know. Once you guys get over that hurdle, I suspect the rest will fall into place. Hopefully the both of you will be so enamoured with the new sharing of intimacy that both of you will be eager to couple. And I suspect once you do it once, the whole newness of the relationship will not make it the last. I hope that helps.