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I used to work in the produce dept. of a grocery store. We got a new employee and I had to work with him on a regular basis. He used to be a pro baseball player for the Kansas City Royals and on the road he gathered a lot of stories that fit this category.
Two of them I shall share.
One night, a group of guys decide to go hogging. So he follows this girl back to her place in New Orleans. She takes off her shirt and he says "There is a row of whiteheads across the top of her chest." But still he does his business. As soon as he's through, he says "So how's the view from your porch?" He steps outside and just takes off running.
Story Two (for the brave only)...
He goes home from some bar after a game with an average looking girl. Before long they are going at it and she pulls out some beads and inserts them into herself. After a while she says to pull them out as fast as he can. He complies, and she shits all over the place. She roles over and yells out "Fuck me in my shit!" He said he quickly gathered his clothes and got dressed int he hall.
That guy was cool.
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