Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

clavus · 09-23-2004, 08:19 PM

When they made my new phone, I don’t think they adult, hetrosexual males in mind. First of all, the damn thing is tiny. It’s roughly the size of a Hotwheel and not nearly as cool. The phone is actually too small to use. When I try to dial a number, I end up mashing my thick, awkward fingers across several buttons at once. I feel like I’m trying to give a pygmy marmoset CPR.

And if I should happen to successfully dial a number, then I have to actually hold the itty bitty thing up to my head and speak into it. It is so much smaller than my hand, there is literally no comfortable way to hold the thing. It’s like taking into a snack cracker. I’m afraid that I might accidentally swallow it. I’m thinking about duct-taping a brick to it, just so I have something substantial to grab onto when I’m speaking

The phone should be sold with a tiny Japanese woman who holds the phone for you and pushes the appropriate buttons. The user would just lift her up to his ear when he needs to chat.

And what in the name of Richard Simmons is going on with the graphics? The phone has a full-color screen with several less-than-masculine backgrounds to choose from – fluffy kitty, rainbow flag, fruit cup, and google-eyed Pokemon children holding pink hearts. What the Hell am I supposed to pick? Apparently, if I go on line, I will have a host of new screens to choose from…for a price.

And it’s a price I’m willing to pay. Here’s my ten bucks, now upload picture of a stealth fighter, or Strogbad, or Aurora Snow…ANYTHING cool. Please! My default options don’t look so good.

What would happen if I let a client use my phone? Uh, “Cute kitty, dude.”

And don’t get me started about the ring tones. It’s the same deal. You want your phone to sound like something other than a pocket-size gay bar, pay up and go on line.

Someone needs to make an old-school cell phone. I want a big fucker, like a WWII combat radio handset, with a crank on the side and a cord that runs to a car battery that I carry on my back.

What the Hell happened? When did cell phones puss out?

09-23-2004, 08:19 PM	#1 (permalink)
clavus pow! Location: NorCal	My itsy, bitsy, cute widdle phone When they made my new phone, I don’t think they adult, hetrosexual males in mind. First of all, the damn thing is tiny. It’s roughly the size of a Hotwheel and not nearly as cool. The phone is actually too small to use. When I try to dial a number, I end up mashing my thick, awkward fingers across several buttons at once. I feel like I’m trying to give a pygmy marmoset CPR. And if I should happen to successfully dial a number, then I have to actually hold the itty bitty thing up to my head and speak into it. It is so much smaller than my hand, there is literally no comfortable way to hold the thing. It’s like taking into a snack cracker. I’m afraid that I might accidentally swallow it. I’m thinking about duct-taping a brick to it, just so I have something substantial to grab onto when I’m speaking The phone should be sold with a tiny Japanese woman who holds the phone for you and pushes the appropriate buttons. The user would just lift her up to his ear when he needs to chat. And what in the name of Richard Simmons is going on with the graphics? The phone has a full-color screen with several less-than-masculine backgrounds to choose from – fluffy kitty, rainbow flag, fruit cup, and google-eyed Pokemon children holding pink hearts. What the Hell am I supposed to pick? Apparently, if I go on line, I will have a host of new screens to choose from…for a price. And it’s a price I’m willing to pay. Here’s my ten bucks, now upload picture of a stealth fighter, or Strogbad, or Aurora Snow…ANYTHING cool. Please! My default options don’t look so good. What would happen if I let a client use my phone? Uh, “Cute kitty, dude.” And don’t get me started about the ring tones. It’s the same deal. You want your phone to sound like something other than a pocket-size gay bar, pay up and go on line. Someone needs to make an old-school cell phone. I want a big fucker, like a WWII combat radio handset, with a crank on the side and a cord that runs to a car battery that I carry on my back. What the Hell happened? When did cell phones puss out? __________________ Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.